


We're Related, I Swear!

by Drindrak



Series: Drindrak's Naruto Crack!Fics [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, F/M, Nagato somewhat adopts Naruto, Some characters are OOC, Uzumaki Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-16
Updated: 2014-06-25
Packaged: 2018-02-04 23:21:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1797085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drindrak/pseuds/Drindrak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naruto was born with his mother's red hair, and, throughout the course of his life, he has the Leader of the Akatsuki desperately trying to convince him that they're related. Crack!fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Meetings

Nagato stared, through the eyes of his dead teammate (fittingly renamed Pein), at the red-haired, whiskered, baby boy inside a crib tucked away in a darkened corner of a secluded room. A few days earlier, Madara (though Nagato highly doubted that Tobi was truly Madara) had told him about the Kyuubi attacking Konoha and it's sealing into the Fourth's own son. Nagato really did not want nor wish to know exactly _how_ Madara knew about the Kyuubi being sealed into the child before him. The boy yawned and opened his bright blue eyes. The eyes scanned over the ceiling tiles before coming to rest on him. The baby whined and held up his arms to be held. Nagato, despite knowing how bad of an idea it was, obliged the child. He wrapped his arms around the baby instinctively and gently patted his soft red hair. The boy cooed happily and snuggled closer to Nagato. Nagato shifted awkwardly, but continued his motions. He glanced around the room, absently sending a bit of chakra out for a quick scan of the area, and noted that no one seemed to be anywhere near him. Nagato looked back at the baby and, noticing that he had fallen asleep, carefully placed him back down in the crib.

"Now..." Nagato whispered, moving around to the side of the crib facing away from the wall. A small plaque was placed there on the crib, a wrinkled sheet of paper sticking out of it depicting the boy's name. Nagato stared at the words silently for a few seconds before sighing softly. "Naruto... Uzumaki Naruto..." He ran his fingers over the Kanji for Uzumaki. _'Maelstrom, huh?'_ Nagato let a small, almost unnoticeable, smile cross his face. Madara may want the Kyuubi that this young child held, but Nagato would try everything possible to stop that madman. He just couldn't find it in him to harm a fellow, properly redheaded, Uzumaki. Nagato stilled suddenly, tilting his head towards the door. He sent a bit of chakra to his ears.

"...well, let's get this over with. Damn brat..." He heard someone mutter. He glanced back down at the sleeping baby.

"We'll meet again, Uzumaki Naruto..." He gave Naruto one last gentle pat on the head, before he shunshined away, just as the door opened.

* * *

When Nagato had enough spare time to see Naruto again, almost an entire year had passed. In fact, if Nagato's research was correct, Naruto would be turning a year old in a week and a half. The clocks had just struck midnight when Nagato slipped through an open window into Naruto's so-called room. He frowned at the open window once he landed inside in a graceful crouch. It was a rather cold October night that night. Why was the window open? Had one of the caretakers forgotten to close it? He shook his head at the caretakers' forgetfulness, and approached the crib in the corner. Naruto was sleeping peacefully inside, shivering only slightly from the cold. Nagato frowned again, and looked around for a blanket of some sort to wrap the child in. He spotted a ragged looking orange blanket on the ground a metre or two from the crib, and went to pick it up. He brought it back to the crib and gently, so to not wake Naruto, wrapped him in it. After a few minutes, Naruto's shivers died off and the child smiled softly in his sleep. Nagato swept his fingers carefully through the babe's red hair, and untangled it somewhat. He shook his head. Naruto would probably have such unruly hair when he was older. He withdrew his fingers and smiled down at Naruto.

"Perhaps I shall bring Konan next time. She would just love you..." He affectionately pet the whiskers on Naruto's cheeks, before he hopped through the window, gently shutting it behind him.

* * *

Nagato made sure to return to Konoha to see Naruto a few days after his birthday. He patted a hidden pocket of his cloak, where a small plush Toad (which doubled as a wallet and definitely did _not_ remind him of Jiraiya-sensei) sat, as he flew across the many rooftops of Konoha. Trailing a few metres behind him was Konan, who looked perplexed as to why they were in Konoha. Nagato came to a stop atop the Orphanage Naruto was currently situated in, and waited for Konan to drop down next to him.

"Nagato, why are we here?" She asked, taking a few steps towards him. Nagato gave her a silent order to follow him. He ducked down to a small ledge that he could barely walk on without chakra, and pried open the window on the furthest end. "Nagato?" Konan asked, as he hopped inside. He gestured her in, and approached the crib in the corner once again. He reached into his hidden pocket as he neared the crib, and pulled out the small toy Toad. He quietly placed it next to the slumbering redhead inside.

"Konan, come closer. I'd like for you to meet my cousin, Naruto." Konan quietly padded across the room towards Nagato, and peered down at the child.

"He's..." She trailed off as Naruto's eyes opened slowly. They immediately landed on Nagato's silent form, and Naruto started tearing up and whining as he reached up at him. Konan watched as Nagato bent down to pick up the squabbling baby, and quietly shush him. "The Kyuubi's Jinchuriki... is your cousin?" Konan breathed, staring at the sight of Nagato (though technically it should be Pein) holding a slowly calming baby in his arms.

"Yes. Uzumaki Naruto. _Maelstrom._ " Nagato stroked the child's head as Konan took a moment to process the fact that her best friend (and, despite denying it in her heart, _love interest_ ) was related to a Jinchuriki.

"But we... Madara has asked us to hunt down the Jinchuriki in a decade's time. You... to get attached to one is ridiculous!" Nagato gave her a shrug.

"It does not matter to me. Madara cannot make me harm one of my only remaining family members." He then held out the child in his arms. "Here, why don't you hold him for a while?" Konan hesitated for barely a second before accepting the child that Nagato held out. Nagato smiled as she gazed down at the toothless grin Naruto had.

"Nagato..." Konan started, still staring at Naruto. "...this child is... so... cute." She smiled at Naruto, who gave her happy giggles in return. Konan glared at Nagato. "We mustn't let Madara harm a hair on his head!" Nagato could only smile as Konan returned her attention to Naruto.


	2. Uzumaki Naruto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto will fondly remember his first meeting with Nagato for the rest of his life.

The first time Naruto remembered seeing the odd orange-haired man, was when he was going to turn four in just a few days. He had been sitting under a tree, eating the small bento that the Orphanage matron had given him. It wasn't as large as the other kids, and he only got two a day, but he figured it was enough because he wasn't really hungry that often. He had just finished it off when the orange-haired man appeared in the branches above him.

"Hello there." The man said, smiling down at Naruto. Naruto stared up at him, his rather long red bangs (the matron had promised to cut them later) falling into his eyes.

"Hi." Now that Naruto thinks on it, hadn't the matron given all the children a speech about not talking or trusting strangers? It was then that he spotted the orange man's headband. "Are you a ninja?" Naruto always tried to be more on the polite side of speech, even if no one stopped to listen to him.

"Yes, I am. My name's Nagato. What's yours?" Naruto puffed out his chest in pride. Finally, someone who didn't know who he was right away!

"Uzumaki Naruto!"

"Oh? That's funny, my last name's Uzumaki as well." Naruto's eyes lit up.

"Really! Wow, are you like, my dad or somethin'?" Naruto shouted happily, jumping to his feet. Nagato blinked down at him eerily for a moment, before shaking his head.

"No, I am likely your cousin." Naruto frowned and fell back onto his behind.

"What's that? Is that somethin' like a dad?" Nagato shook his head.

"No, no. Nothing like that. But tell me, how do you like it here in Konoha?" Nagato smiled warmly down at him, easing Naruto's mild confusion at the statement. "I could take you away from here you know." His words, despite how nice they had started out as, made warning bells fly in Naruto's mind. This was exactly like what the matron said the kiddy-nappers did! They wanted to snatch up all the cute little kiddies and run off with them. Naruto took only a second to decide a course of action. He opened his mouth wide, and _screamed._ He screamed bloody murder, making Nagato almost fall from the tree.

"AAAH! KYAAAAAAH!" Naruto screamed, before shouting really loud, "THERE'S A KIDDY-NAPPER HERE! HE WANTS TO TAKE ME AWAY!"

* * *

Nagato smiled as he felt Naruto's chakra separate from the group of kids waiting for lunch. He watched from his spot atop the Orphanage as Naruto settled underneath of a large oak tree a bit aways from the group. He silently counted to thirty in his mind before he shot towards the tree, absently cloaking his chakra further as he landed on the branch above Naruto. He smiled down at him, and they shared a lovely little banter. Nagato took a small pause before asking the question Konan had demanded he propose to the child.

"How do you like it here in Konoha?" Nagato smiled warmly at Naruto, and saw a flash of confusion cross the boy's face. Nagato scrambled for something to say to help Naruto understand what he meant. "I could take you away from here you know." He watched as a series of emotions played out on Naruto's face. First, happiness, then confusion, then betrayal, before finally settling on a mixture of horror and disgust. Nagato felt his own confusion well up inside him as Naruto took a deep breath. Just as he was about to ask the child what he was doing, Naruto screamed like Nagato was torturing him. He didn't quite manage to catch what Naruto was screaming about exactly, but he got the gist of it when he heard the word 'kidnapper.' Nagato cursed out loud on a reflex before he shot out of the tree and made a mad dash out of the village before the ANBU could stop him.

* * *

It was just as he was approaching his village that he felt a ball of dread settle in his stomach. What was he going to tell Konan? Especially if his face was specifically attached to the man who was trying to kidnap Konoha's Jinchuriki?


End file.
